Tuesday, July 12, 2005

boys will be boys

Here is a conversation that illustrates why our female roommates should not have left us alone for the summer:

Roommate: What would you do if I just stabbed you in the chest right now?
Me: You couldn't stab through my rib-cage, there's no way. You'd have to stab me in the stomach or something.
Roommate: I totally could.
Me: How the hell could you stab THROUGH my rib-cage? My ribs would deflect the knife.
Roommate: What if I turned it on an angle, then it would slip right through, like butter.
Me: I doubt you have the skill to do that. Besides you'd need to take a couple of stabs at it and I'd ninja-kill you before you could get your 2nd stab-in.
Roommate: I bet I could.
Me: Fine, lets try it in the kitchen, the floor is easier to clean up. You first.

17 Comments:

Blogger sixshooter said...

If you use a chain saw, it goes through much easier ...

I'm just sayin' ...

2:32 PM  
Blogger Ed Grow said...

OMG. Flesh. One time my mom (ever worried about everything) told me that if I was ever attacked by a dog, especially a big one, I should put my keys between my fingers and stab it in-between the ribs to perforate its lungs.

"Yeah, it would have a hard time attacking if it had a pneumothorax." My mom is bizarre.

2:42 PM  
Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

And I so mistakenly thought gheypunks were above this sort of thing.

4:13 PM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

you are a terminator with ribs of steeeeeeeeeeel

4:41 PM  
Blogger Eduard said...

ROFLOL. True, women tend to interrupt useless talk like this with an annoyed look saying: "Gawd, men...! Can't they have a real conversation?"

5:39 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Dearest 6tysex,
I don't need a chain-saw, as I tell him on a regular basis, if it came to a throw-down he'd be in a world of pain.
*
Dearest Ed,
Because of my mother I use to walk home from school with a pen in my hand to fend-off any would-be attackers.
Mothers are awesome.
*
Dearest AndI,
I never let a little thing like ghey, get in the way of acting like an asshat.
*
Dearest Swirl,
you don't know the half of it. I am strooong-like-bull.
*
Dearest Eduardo,
we almost never have a real conversation, usually we are talking about how we would best kill/destroy one another. However, with ladies I'm quite the gentleman, go figure.

5:58 PM  
Blogger cranberry said...

omg - that's hilarious.
sounds like a conversation i would have with my friends.

1:23 AM  
Blogger sixshooter said...

So flesh ... you are strong and impervious to chain saws ... how very Clark-Kentish of you!

1:37 AM  
Blogger suz said...

as a kid, my ex used to tell his friend that he was a ninja. and that he would hide underneath floors, then reach up and 'squick' his enemy's nuts when they least suspected it.

8:46 AM  
Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

Asshat! I love that and I always forget to use it.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Brookelina said...

Sounds like you two are attempting to win the Darwin Awards this year.

http://www.darwinawards.com/

2:29 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Dear Cran,
then we would get along nicely!
*
Dear 6sexy,
I'm not going to lie, I'm just as boss as CKent.
*
Dearest AndI,
a classic never goes out of style.
*
Dearest Brooke,
it is my hope that even my obit is a knee-slapper, and if that means going out like a fool, then it will be damn worth it!

5:19 PM  
Blogger cranberry said...

dear flesh, oh, you should come to vancouver and come dancing at celebrities, we would rock the house.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous fence said...

Well, if the knife/stabbing implement was long enough you could still penetrate the heart by stabbing through the stomach. Simply angle upwards.

The things you learn from books eh? Honestly.

5:53 AM  
Blogger AMS said...

Fuck you need to get either a new roommate or some chest armour!

8:29 AM  
Blogger AMS said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Dearest Cran,
It is my dream in life to move to BC, so maybe indeed!
*
Dearest Fence,
He would never be able to get past my abs-of-steel.
*
Dearest AMS,
He wishes I need some sort of protection. He needs armed guards that is how lock-and-load I am.

1:49 PM  

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