Tuesday, July 12, 2005

boys will be boys

Here is a conversation that illustrates why our female roommates should not have left us alone for the summer:

Roommate: What would you do if I just stabbed you in the chest right now?
Me: You couldn't stab through my rib-cage, there's no way. You'd have to stab me in the stomach or something.
Roommate: I totally could.
Me: How the hell could you stab THROUGH my rib-cage? My ribs would deflect the knife.
Roommate: What if I turned it on an angle, then it would slip right through, like butter.
Me: I doubt you have the skill to do that. Besides you'd need to take a couple of stabs at it and I'd ninja-kill you before you could get your 2nd stab-in.
Roommate: I bet I could.
Me: Fine, lets try it in the kitchen, the floor is easier to clean up. You first.


Blogger sixshooter said...

If you use a chain saw, it goes through much easier ...

I'm just sayin' ...

2:32 PM  
Blogger Ed Grow said...

OMG. Flesh. One time my mom (ever worried about everything) told me that if I was ever attacked by a dog, especially a big one, I should put my keys between my fingers and stab it in-between the ribs to perforate its lungs.

"Yeah, it would have a hard time attacking if it had a pneumothorax." My mom is bizarre.

2:42 PM  
Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

And I so mistakenly thought gheypunks were above this sort of thing.

4:13 PM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

you are a terminator with ribs of steeeeeeeeeeel

4:41 PM  
Blogger Eduard said...

ROFLOL. True, women tend to interrupt useless talk like this with an annoyed look saying: "Gawd, men...! Can't they have a real conversation?"

5:39 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Dearest 6tysex,
I don't need a chain-saw, as I tell him on a regular basis, if it came to a throw-down he'd be in a world of pain.
Dearest Ed,
Because of my mother I use to walk home from school with a pen in my hand to fend-off any would-be attackers.
Mothers are awesome.
Dearest AndI,
I never let a little thing like ghey, get in the way of acting like an asshat.
Dearest Swirl,
you don't know the half of it. I am strooong-like-bull.
Dearest Eduardo,
we almost never have a real conversation, usually we are talking about how we would best kill/destroy one another. However, with ladies I'm quite the gentleman, go figure.

5:58 PM  
Blogger cranberry said...

omg - that's hilarious.
sounds like a conversation i would have with my friends.

1:23 AM  
Blogger sixshooter said...

So flesh ... you are strong and impervious to chain saws ... how very Clark-Kentish of you!

1:37 AM  
Blogger suz said...

as a kid, my ex used to tell his friend that he was a ninja. and that he would hide underneath floors, then reach up and 'squick' his enemy's nuts when they least suspected it.

8:46 AM  
Blogger A. Estella Sassypants said...

Asshat! I love that and I always forget to use it.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Brookelina said...

Sounds like you two are attempting to win the Darwin Awards this year.


2:29 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Dear Cran,
then we would get along nicely!
Dear 6sexy,
I'm not going to lie, I'm just as boss as CKent.
Dearest AndI,
a classic never goes out of style.
Dearest Brooke,
it is my hope that even my obit is a knee-slapper, and if that means going out like a fool, then it will be damn worth it!

5:19 PM  
Blogger cranberry said...

dear flesh, oh, you should come to vancouver and come dancing at celebrities, we would rock the house.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous fence said...

Well, if the knife/stabbing implement was long enough you could still penetrate the heart by stabbing through the stomach. Simply angle upwards.

The things you learn from books eh? Honestly.

5:53 AM  
Blogger AMS said...

Fuck you need to get either a new roommate or some chest armour!

8:29 AM  
Blogger AMS said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Dearest Cran,
It is my dream in life to move to BC, so maybe indeed!
Dearest Fence,
He would never be able to get past my abs-of-steel.
Dearest AMS,
He wishes I need some sort of protection. He needs armed guards that is how lock-and-load I am.

1:49 PM  

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