Friday, June 17, 2005

Weed 4 Waifs

Dear Nicole and LLo,

I’ve decided that it’s HIGH time [oh I slay myself] that someone take responsibility for the two of you and that someone is me. You are both one of my favorite celebutant-actresses and as such I am on a crusade to get pot into your hands. Medicinal ‘mary-do-you-wanna’ is not just an intoxicant used by art-majors and hippies, it also saves lives. Nothing solves the problem of protruding bones quite like the munchies.
Blonde Lindsay, do you remember Lohan version 1.0? She was so busty and curvaceous, who didn’t fall in love with her bad-girl antics? And Nicole? Please, you MADE the Simple Life, Ms. Hilton may have been more famous but without your sass-ery Paris would have mostly just stood around droning: “that’s hot”. I am willing to commit myself to bringing you back to your former glory even if that means tagging along for your toking-sessions.
Besides, you’re rich, just imagine the fine super-grass you must be able to get a hold of! I’ll bring my Pink Floyd CDs, you bring teeny-tiny baggies and whichever snack-food you can remember last enjoying.
Get better girls, get stoned!




Blogger swirlogirl said...

i eat enough for both these bitches!

2:10 PM  
Blogger n.v. said...

Hey, who wants the leftover Big Mac on my chin?

6:47 PM  

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