Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Ugh, you're on my hair!


There is absolutely nothing quite like bumping into a girlfriend you haven’t seen in a good long while only to have her reveal more to you in 5 minutes then you needed to know in a lifetime. Gina has always been the type of girl who said and did things I wouldn’t have expected a person to do outside of Wild Things, and admittedly that has partly been my attraction to her friendship. She’s always so delightfully lewd and shocking and therefore a necessary element when one is indulging in some “mary-do-you-wanna” or vodka. However, as much as I tell myself I’m an open-minded person I’m really not. Yes folks, I’m a judger. I judge left, right and centre and as much as I try to restrain my urge to judge I can’t help it.
“I have so much to tell you Fleshie!” Gina said in her breathy-sexy voice. “I had a threesome.”
Now my first reaction was: wow. Actually, my first reaction was: yeah right. Followed by: ew, THEN, Wow. But no matter.
I’m not sure why but whenever I hear a story about something that I don’t see on a day-to-day basis in my own life [like, say, a threesome] my instinct is to think it’s a lie. My sister and I have discussed this at-length; we are non-believers in the strictest sense. I can’t help but think that type of behavior only exists in bad screenplays and dirty jock’s fantasies. I mean, who just SAYS that after not talking to a person for half a year? Maybe start with something along the lines of: "A lot has changed since we last hung out". Start small, start small.
As she proceeded to give me the briefest of details I began to wonder why I was being so harsh. Certainly a threesome isn’t something I’m ever, EVER going to do, but what do I care if she does? She said the couple was attractive, nice and good friends, and if you can’t have a threesome with your good-looking friends I’m not sure who you can have a threesome with. We exchanged our new numbers and I look forward to the subsequent coffee-date that will follow. She’ll tell me about adventures in sex and I’ll tell her about my indecision with what to do with my hair.
All in all I’ve learned a valuable lesson here today: I’m never EVER going to have a threesome, but Gina can go on with her bad-self.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Donald said...

You would think at your age you would be up for a threesome. I know I was up for everything and everyone. Not that I did all that much but I was up for it.
Have fun

3:18 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Well I suppose one should never say never. I'm probably more likely to sprout wings and become an angel, but still, I'll keep my options open!

3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have a livejournal account. go to:

www.livejournal.com/users/my_love_assasin

some of the most recent entries are friends-only, so you'll probably only be able to read things that aren't really contentious/what i think privately about things.

plus, it's not as lovely and eloquent as yous.

hearts,
smen

8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh yea, and re:threesomes.

i don't see what's wrong with not wanting to have a thressome. you didn't tell your friend that she shouldn't have them.

i don't want to have a threesome, because i'm greedy.

i wouldn't mind watching a threesome, just to see the logistics, etc.

8:09 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

I totally feel you on the greedy-angle; I'd be all "he's mine! back off bitch!"

1:07 AM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

the title and this picture just crack me up alone!

2:41 PM  
Blogger n.v. said...

I'll have a threesome after a scientist figures out how to clone a thinner, taller version of myself.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

Ugh, I'd NEVER have a 3some with a better looking version of myself, he'd be such a bitch. At least my short-comings make me delightfully neurotic.

3:55 PM  
Blogger n.v. said...

Flesh, you're so right. I should be so lucky to get laid by an uglier version of my thinner and taller fantasy-self. At least I'd have someone to belittle.

fucking sob!

11:06 PM  
Blogger Rob Danger said...

HA!

12:58 AM  

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