Friday, June 10, 2005

I’m not sure if I want my MTV

Award for Worst 'Dress'-Shirt Ever Goes to:

Last night I watched the MTV Movie Awards because it’s important to stay on top of youth-culture. Well, no, it’s not, but for some unknown reason I want to know what Lindsay Lohan and her cohorts are doing at all times. Frankly I'm not sure why I wasn't invited, I have just as much a right to be there as Nicole Ritchie. The fact that Jimmy Fallon was hosting was another selling-feature, he’s cute and was funny on SNL. Then he had to ruin everything by making the most misogynistic jokes and skits that went on WAY past their prime. That skit with Jimmy Fallon and Sandra Bullock, whether pre-planned or not was frankly uncomfortable and in poor-taste.
Why Jimmy? It’s like the writers were too afraid to make jokes that challenged anyone in the least so the lowest-common-denominator seemed like a better idea. I suppose that’s nothing new, but still, all I wanted was to sit in front of the TV and giggle followed by oohing-and-awwing over pretty celebrities. Instead I spent the whole night bitching to my sister about what-the-hell was wrong with the world. Not to mention feeling old, my god I’m only 21 but it is so clear that MTV’s target-market is horny 12-year-olds.
What was with the awkward moment where the lovebirds from the Notebook made a way too over-the-top kiss in order to accept their awards? As one person quite accurately shouted after the 10th minute of them being on the stage: “SAY SOMETHING”. I really didn’t need to see that gratuitous faux-display of affection. My sister on the other hand disagreed.
“Would you just shut up about this ONE thing, I love him; you’re ruining it for me!” She shrilled. Whatever.
And the musical performances? Mariah Carey music is just too sappy and goopy to be listen-able I definitely had to channel-surf at that point. Yellowcard ruined that classic song, for shame! Eminem? I get that maybe you were trying to poke-fun of the way women are objectified in rap-videos but could you have possibly accomplished this goal in a slightly LESS creepy way? And finally the Foofighters; I just don’t care anymore, sorry.
Then Katie Holmes appeared on the screen. Good, lord NO. First of all, she’s just as deathly-ill looking as the rest of them and secondly, as my sister quite accurately pointed out, “dropping to one-knee to praise the lord for your boyfriend is never a good sign”. Free Katie indeed.
I can’t think of a more fitting way to sum-up my brief recap than with another brilliant quote from my sister: “MY GOD! They are all just SO drugged up!”
Truer words have never been spoken.

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